Tuesday, November 29, 2011

how to: avantgarde yourself

This is hahaha
also directly copy/paste from  http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Avant-Garde

  1. Act creative. You don't have to BE creative, but at least act creative. Choose a creative outlet such as a musical instrument or some form of art. You don't need to be good at it, you just need to convince everyone else you are good at it. Abstract painting is a perfect example. Abstract art in all its forms is responsible for most of the avant garde movements of the century. 95% of the world has no idea what makes a good abstract painting so throwing a bunch of house paint you found in your moms shed at a piece of plywood will fool pretty much anyone you want to use. No matter what anyone says, insist that it is genius.
  2. 2
    Be arrogant. None of this will work unless you are absolutely certain that you are a genius and everyone else is a pathetic child playing in the mud. Your very presence should help elevate them from that mud.
  3. 3
    Wear a very specific and inconvenient style of clothing. For example, 1950's period wear that is accurate and vintage. However, be sure to Avant Garde it up with something contradictory such as new balances or random paint smears from your latest project. This brings us to our next step.
  4. 4
    Be Contradictory. People often think that people who act contradictory are simply getting insights that are way over their heads. This makes them feel lower than you and convinces them that you are a valuable friend. Again, act certain in your "logical contradiction" or they'll just think you're a poser.
  5. 5
    Laugh at people who say you are a poser and then tell your friends that its sad that they'll never understand. Then (smiling to yourself) write something in a small journal you should ALWAYS be carrying and not show anyone what it is. For all they know, it could be some deep insight on humanity.
  6. 6
    Go to a college somewhere for something pointless and completely unmarketable. Justify this by saying you are seeking an "Honest existence". Again, art is a great bet as many lower end art schools will take almost anyone and art school is super fun. (Most people not involved with the art world won't be able to tell the various art schools apart anyway.) Other good majors are English, Music, History and of course Philosophy. You don't really need to graduate, as you can say the college environment was too "oppressive".
  7. 7
    Make avant Garde friends. Even if you are into the loner aesthetic it is good to have a few Avant Garde friends to throw paint at walls and have orgies with. This is easily done within your major at afore mentioned college. Arguing about your theories is a must, but NEVER call into question their Avant Garde nature in itself. The fact that you are avant garde together is a pillar of your friendship. As is maintaining the facade that you are an exclusive social group of intelligentsia.
  8. The photo at the end is my little special addition. taken from http://www.iwishicoulddescribeittoyoubetter.net/wework/mountain.html…….pfffffffff.

No comments:

Post a Comment